Redefining Success on Your Own Terms

The world is full of people who seem to have it all, while in their private lives they’re battling anxiety and depression, feeling disconnected from the ones they love the most, and overwhelmed by the pace of their own lives.

The idea of success we were sold is turning out to be a big, dangerous lie. More and more people are realizing they’ve been chasing not only an impossible standard, but one that’s cost them their health, happiness, and peace of mind.

If you’ve read about The Heroine’s Journey, you know this stage well: waking up one day (or, for others, slowly over time) and realizing your whole life has been a race toward ideals that were never truly yours.

As women, we’ve been raised to believe we have to compete in a man-made world.
A world that doesn’t welcome sensitivity, empathy, cyclicality, or softness. A world that's been setting impossible standards and asking us to abandon our essence and true gifts, to fit into the never-stopping machine of productivity.

And so we followed "the rules", pretended it was okay, and wondered what was wrong with us when we inevitably found ourselves struggling.

But success is deeply subjective.

Someone's dream life can be someone else's nightmare.
And if we don’t take the time to intentionally redefine what success means for us, we risk falling back into the mainstream version of it.

So here's a quick exercise to help you get clear on what success really means to you:

• Find a quiet space.
  Have a notebook ready. Close your eyes, take a few deep breaths, and ground yourself.
  
  

• Imagine it’s 5 years from now, and you’re living a version of your life that feels deeply successful and authentic. You’ve achieved what matters most to you.
  
  

• Now scan your senses:

  What are you doing?

  Who are you doing it with (or maybe you're alone)?

  How are you feeling (if anything)?

  What does your normal day look like?
  
  

• Now focus on the feelings or the facts that came up for you.

  Write them down and then trace them back by asking yourself: "What am I doing that allows me to feel this way?”
  
  

• Finally, condense what came up for you in a few short sentences.
  That is your authentic idea of success, the blueprint beneath any surface goals.